Photos My Camera Took: A Pictorium Spectactular

“The photograph is not merely a physical vessel for the human memory, nor a fragile gateway to the past, it has far greater meaning and serves a much nobler purpose: providing a platform for corny jokes and bad puns” - unknown author.

This special photography edition of 'Mounties and Mooses' will take you through the kit lens of Kyan Woodpower to a wonderful world of sidewalks and jive talks, city streets and drum beats, wild animals and even wilder parties.

From the 22^nd of August to the 24^th of September, I took around 4000 photos on my camera. Thankfully it wasn't too hard to pick the good ones out, but I wasn't sure if 3 photos was enough for a picture special so I included some other ones as well.

Whether you are a keen photographer, friend or family of the author, or simply a stranger who enjoys reading travel diaries, you will probably not enjoy this issue. Next week will return to the familiar formula writing of previous editions though.

So find a comfortable seat, grab a really strong coffee and make sure you keep some aspirin nearby, because this could take a while.

LOS ANGELES

Living the American dream (no, you're not missing a joke. Not all the captions will be funny, in fact only a few will).

Santa Monica Blvd, we love it! For those of you who don't understand the cultural significance of this road, join the club.

And just in case you were under the impression that every photo will have a caption, I thought I should let you know they won't.

The heart of Hollywood... if you can say it has one.

I wish I was big...

Mickey actually thought he was hanging out with Pocahontas.

That's me with the Golden Globe. If I work really, really hard, hopefully I wont have to touch that thing again.

Home of the Oscars. You could still smell the cheap alcohol and stale perfume from last time.

 If you think doctors are the unsung heroes of society, spare a thought for these hard working individuals.

 

They used to use these cameras to make films in Hollywood.

The observatory in the hills. By far the nicest 20 minutes I spent in L.A.

Rydell High!

John Trovalta only had to walk a block and a half after Grease wrapped to get here.

I don't know whether the lights at night made things look more tacky or not.

Taken from the Universal Studios tour trolley car...

which we had to get out of later and walk instead.

The ship from King Kong (that's not a joke, they shot this part with miniatures!).

This isn't funny, but it looks kind of cool.

The set of a very bad TV show.

That's a genuine Academy Award. If you have enough money, you can buy one from the academy and they give it to you at a nice little presentation that they call the oscars or something.

Some of the puppets and props from Coraline.

 Universal Studios.

There's nothing more satisfying or rewarding than seeing the actual home of someone with questionable talent and excessive botox.

 

Am I trying to say something by ending the Los Angeles segment with this photo? Well I don't want to be too obvious, so I'll leave it at that.

MONTREAL

The Old Port.

Montreal's metro has the second highest volume of daily passengers of any metro in the world, after only New York City.

My pal Tom, at the Mount Royal lookout. Tom is studying how to build airplanes, but one day hopes to be the spokesperson for a microwavable crêpe company.

The city offers some absolutely beautiful hotel rooms with sweeping views of Montreal, but also provides great options for the budget minded.

This guy is inspiration. Not because he is living his dream, or enjoying life for all it's worth, but because he is living proof that you can survive beyond 40 years of age with severe obesity.

What a great animal!

Easing racial tension with a black versus white basketball game.

My housemate Leighenne.

I guess people in Canada have a lot of free time, they were actually broadcasting the football match I went to.

Snow cones are actually a lot like Canadian football. They're bright and colourful, they look great, and are both pretty good for a few minutes, but if you have too much quickly your brain begins to hurt.

I think this guy managed to touch the ball, maybe even catch it. They carried him off the field in a throne afterwards.

Grave robbers are a bit of a problem here.

He missed that shot. Liverpool made him a contract offer moments later.

This lovely piece of artwork is in my bedroom. It lights up and makes water and bird sounds.

I don't mean to be sexist, but we all know birds can't drive.

My friend Niamh, a Montreal local. It's sometimes really hard to understand the accent, but I can safely assume she's talking about beavers or maple syrup or something.

 

Notice the dead pigeon in the background.

CISA orientation. I could watch people stuffing their mouths full of marshmallows for hours, so I was glad they organised that as entertainment.

Leighenne making a dress out of paper for Liam from the UK. The activities had stopped by this stage, so I'm not quite sure why they're doing it.

The guy from the boat again.

I'm glad he got whatever the joke was.

Melvin from Mauritius. Around 4 foot tall, plays electric flute, and hasn't seen snow before.

 

The day of the big race, and a really tough day to rent a BIXI.

All at the the Tam Tams picnic.

CISA sports day.

What an ugly dog, but he looks so happy. Kind of a repeat of the fat man on boat photo, but I wanted to include it anyway.

Loyola Campus. Way out of town, but pretty cool.

The point of this photo is partly to show what the trains look like, but mainly so you can look at the weird face that woman is pulling.

I don't know if this was a magic show or some kind of weird mating ritual.

This one is kind of out of order, but it's in the forest at the Laurentian mountains.

Accueil pour l'instant. Je souhaite juste que je parlais français afin que je puisse le lire.

The Laurentians day trip.

What brave people. They almost drowned then just got right back in there again. No wonder health insurance costs so much here.

If some one ever says to you that shuffleboard is a good game, I would tend not to believe them, but don't ever let anyone tell you it isn't hard.

I have no idea what Melvin is doing here, but it sure looks impressive.

To set as desktop background, right click and "set image as background".

In search of Pocahontas. I didn't have the heart to tell Melvin that we were in the wrong country, and century.

The obstacle course was very tiring.

I caught this photo mid-exorcism.

St. Joseph's Oratory.

Lunji: Uses 35mm film, does drawing and painting, rides a Vespa and shot a moose on a recent hunting trip.

Louis' party.

Next week I get my test results back, buy my winter clothes and play a CD at my apartment. For all this and even more excitement, make sure you catch the next installation - “A Yard-Sale In Outremont”.