The Seventh Story: Smooth Ride on a Rocky Road

I bid Montreal au revoir on a sleepy New Years day, and rode the Megabus to Toronto. The trip was fine but I felt silly, like I was a little overdressed for the occasion. I couldn't fit all my clothes in my bag so I ended up having to wear 4 jumpers and a heavy jacket. Needless to say, I went through around 3 cans of deodorant on the bus ride, and had to run my clothes through several cycles in the dryer once I arrived at the hostel.

Niagara Falls was just an short trip away, and was a must-see destination while I was in Toronto. I took a bus tour, which didn't look promising when it started snowing heavily as we neared the falls. The snow soon stopped and we had a great view, although I felt a little embarrassed for the Americans. The Canadian Horseshoe Falls are what people come to see, so I was surprised the USA would be parading around their cute little American Falls just downstream.

The well know Canadian Horseshoe Falls

The American Falls

The CN tower, formerly the tallest building in the world (although the Canadians don't seem to want to accept that), is pretty groovy. It really is quite a sight and anyone who hasn't visited Dubai would be impressed.

I doubt they'll be updating this in a hurry

Back at the stop-motion festival in October, I met Ashley and Andrew from Toronto who were in pre-production of a student film, so I caught up with them again while I was on their turf (or Sod?).

They were in the full swing of things now, and I got a chance to check out the awesome set and the great puppets, and hung out with them (the puppets, not Ashley and Andrew) for a while before I left the next day. I still had a bit to do in Toronto, and on my last day I spent more time exploring the city, and visited the CBC museum. It was pretty cool, and they had a few lessons for other museums that want to keep things looking classy.

My flight to Calgary from Toronto was good, and even though the pressures of sitting in an exit row seat had me sweating like mad even without all my jumpers on, I managed to sleep and have an great time. I checked into Calgary at 2AM, and left at 10AM the next day, so I didn't see much. But I was not in Calgary to see Calgary, I was in Calgary to see Banff, and after a short bus ride, I was in the thick of it.

While in Banff, I stayed at the Alpine Centre, a hostel that charges only $30 and a litre of milk per night. I have been eating cereal for breakfast, and every time I buy milk, the next time I take it from the fridge, someone has used almost all of it, just leaving a small amount at the bottom so they wouldn't have to feel bad about it.

I spent my first week in Banff looking for a job (partly to pay for all this milk), but after receiving countless offers, I decided to cut my losses and move on. I still had another week paid for though, so it was time to buy snowboarding gear and hit the slopes.

I finally went to Lake Louise Ski Resort on Sunday, and rode the hill from 9AM to 4PM without so much as a toilet break. I had great fun, but spent the next few days feeling extremely sore. If I didn't break by body, I sure as heck broke the record for most crashes in a single day. I must have crashed almost as often as my heart beat, and I was lucky that it was still beating by the end of the day. The worst thing was that I grazed my face on the ground at one point and has a nasty scratch all over, that I thought looked like I had spilled pasta sauce on my chin. I was a little embarrassed to find out later that I simply had past sauce on my chin.

The next few days got down to as low as around 30 below, so cold that the lifts weren't even running, . This meant I had a reason not to go tear more bones and break more muscles, and lose my nose to frostbite again. I always wondered what minus 30 felt like, but now that I've experienced it, I'm beginning to wonder what a nose, or ears, or fingers feel like.

When I was on the slopes, I spotted a $20 note on the ground (that gives you some idea of fast I must have been going). I was super happy, and stacked right next to, then grabbed it with a huge grin on my face and stuffed it into one of my zipped pockets. It seems that in all the excitement, I accidentally pulled the note out again before I zipped it, and later learnt that I also lost $20 on the slopes. I'm not sure how many times this happened, but at the end of day, I heard about 60 different people telling stories of how they had found a $20 note on the 'Deer Run'.

The Bow River, partly frozen over.

Other than that, the hostel can feel a bit like the Overlook Hotel, up in the mountains surrounded by snow, with not much to do but go crazy when it's so cold outside. Maybe it was even worse than the overlook though, because around 90% of the people staying there were Australian. My ears started to close over after a few days to protect themselves. I leave on Friday for Whistler and beyond.

In the February, 2012 edition, Kyan is as plan-less and clueless as ever, wandering around Canada trying to stretch those final pennies are far as they will possibly stretch. Read all about it in “The Complete Collection: Volumes 8-12”.